Don't Judge Me

       This has been a sentiment which has become the battle cry of recent generations.  Its’ use is growing in popularity among those who wish not to be defined by their actions.  But, is this being statement being used appropriately? I fear, this sentiment is now being used mostly to escape accountability for our actions, becoming a “get out of jail free” card. “I can live however I want to live, look however I want to look, do whatever it is that I want to do, and you are not allowed to tell me otherwise.” Inevitably, when a person tries to speak truth into this persons life, the “truth speaker” is met with this sentiment, “Who are you to judge me?” This person who cares enough to give wisdom and insight is now labeled as “judgmental”.  The problem: this anthem is being used incorrectly majority of the time. How does this affect Christians?  Christians have been labeled as the most judgmental people to exist.  Lets just go ahead and admit that for the most part this previous statement is true.  From the single mother to the unwed couple living together, the man covered with tattoos, there are many who would say these people are not welcome in our church. This is an mindset that I am grateful is disappearing. 

I am fortunate enough to work at a place where I meet people of all different walks in life.  From the 6’6” tattooed biker to the 16 yr. old high school cheerleader and everything in between.  Something that I have come to love is how for a lot of these people first perceptions about them can be way off!  The tattooed biker mentioned previously upon first glance, scared me.  This is a big guy who looks like he has a rough past and you would not want to make him mad or meet in a dark alley.  After a few conversations with him, I was pleasantly surprised to find him to be one of the nicest people I have ever had the chance of getting to meet.  He turned out to be a Christian and a man using his appearance to reach a group of people who are often missed by the churches. Would this man be welcome in most churches?  Sadly not.  But is there a difference when scripture says, “Judge not, that you be not judged” (Matthew 7.1 ESV) and trying to help someone by giving them advice or truths that are sometime hard to hear? Yes!

What has happened because of this “don’t judge me” mentality is that many Christians feel that they are not allowed to stand up for what is right, what is true, and what is biblical, without being labeled as “judgmental”.  Scripture definitely teaches that you should judge! And at the same time you should not judge. How can this be possible? Easy. Its the simple fact that there are actually two different forms of judging talked about in scripture.  

The right way to judge, is to discern between right or wrong, good or bad.  When looking at judging this way, we as Christians should be very judgmental.  We are given the task on earth of growing in Christ and to become more like him, a process known as sanctification.  How can this be done if we do not look at the many options in life and discern what it is that is right or wrong?  How can we make good decisions in life if we are not allowed to view choices through the proper perspective? Plain and simple scripture teaches that we as Christians should judge and that the proper use of judging it for discernment between what is right and what is wrong. About this I think there can be no argument. (1 Cor. 2.15)

The wrong type of judgment, the one that scripture condemns, is to condemn a person because of their actions or lifestyle. At no point should the Christian look at a person’s sin in their life and decide for themselves this person is an awful human being.  To write off, condemn, mistreat, or have a prejudice towards people based on behavior or outward appearance is condemned by scripture. By the way the very people that we tend to write off, are the very people that Christ sought out. (Matthew 7.7)

The truth is that it is very possible to separate the sins from the person. We can dislike and not approve of what a person does AND still love that person.  Many young adults today though are unable to take criticism for its true purpose.  Instead of criticism as an attack on you personally it should be taken as advice meant only to help.

To the Christian, rest easy in the simple fact that you are allowed to use judgment in a right way. When people confront you as being judgmental, take a step back and make sure that you are not being prejudice towards a particular group of people; which is easy to do because we are human.  Do not be afraid to take stands on what is right. We must learn to separate a persons actions from the person.  We can not like what a person does and still love that person. For many people today disagreement means dislike.  If you do not agree with the way I think about this you do not like me as a person.  This is not true and it is very possible to disagree with someone and still love a person.

To the person who uses this phrase, “Don’t judge me”, it is time to grow up.  When someone speaks words of wisdom or gives advice they are not judging you, but judging (rightfully) your actions and trying to help point you in a better direction. More often than not they are doing this because they care for you.